So here is a list of my stupid Mom moves (that I haven't obliterated from my memory - and those I am sure my mother will call to remind me of so check back for an update) in chronological order (backwards):
1. (Cringing already) - So it was about the 1,432 time I was giving the kids a bath. They are happily splashing around and I figured - Hey, haven't shaved my legs in a while (cring away) why not kill two birds with one stone. So I grab the razor and Brooke decides to see what I'm up to. I explain, she touches my leg. No big deal. I go to shave the other leg and she swings out her hand when I wasn't expecting it and I caught the top half of her pinky fingernail. Blood (though not as much as you might expect) and a surprised look. No crying just, I guess you'd call it, aghast.
So, I tried to act like Ok it's alright. We'll get a bandaid, etc. No problem. She talked about it a litte over the next couple of days but it was fine.One night we went to get the bath ready (just she and I) and I was filling the tub and said to her "I guess I won't shave my legs again because I don't want to hurt you." Dramatic pause. Quietly, under her breath she said (I kid you not), "Again!".
2. Preface this by saying I had a bad few months immediatley after Lexi was born, or rather Brooke did. I thought I was the super Mom shopping with both kids. Lexi in car seat carrier in front of cart, Brooke in back. Well, the price of something caught my eye and I stopped a little short and Brooke was standing in the cart and did a flying double cow tow out of the cart through the air smack on to the floor of the grocery store. Face up. Screaming! Mommies came running from all over. None of them seemed worried about Brooke. They were all asking me if I was alright because apparently I made some sort of primal scream noise that is not normally heard at Shaw's at 10am in the morning. Again, child OK. Mother in a state of catatonia.
3. Getting baby out of car. Thank God the other one is able to walk. Shut the door. The walking one didn't walk away but decided to hang on to the other side of the door - the now shut side! Screaming - but may I say it is a major modern miracle that someone designs cars now with almost exactly the amount of space of a 2 year olds fingers to sort of fit. There isn't quite enough room so they have some abrasions and bruising (almost like a warning, this could have hurt much worse!) but it didn't chop her fingers off all together and for that I am thankful.
4. Again, this may have been caused by a little too much Super Moming in the head. Outside with the girls. Baby on grass. Brooke running around like a loon. Mommy decides to swing Brooke by the arms (well, hands if you want to get technical). Mom hears an odd crunch. Brooks kind of goes. Aargh. Mommy tries to pretend like nothing happened. Brooke starts whining and holding her arm. Mom decides to solve the problem with food (what?). Popsicle is brought out. Full blown screaming now. Mom can tell this is going to be a long afternoon. Away they go to the doctors. Doctor has to pop her elbow back in to place (by the way, he had to do 3 other elbows that day, apparently when the sun comes out in New England parents feel a strong desire to fling their children through the air).
So that's the list. It's been 3 years though and I've haven't even gotten to Lexi yet!
1 comment:
I am so with you...
DD, age 6, after having a sleepover (with little sleeping) was jumping on the trampoline with 10 other kids and twisted her ankle. Drama of mass proportions occurs. DD is prone to drama anyway but added to the no sleep, the drama level was Oscar worthy. I had a cranky 2 year old as well so I just took us all home and we took a nap. All during the nap, DD keeps wimpering in her sleep. I woke up and checked her ankle- it was swollen to 3 times its size and blue. Off to the emergency room to find out the bone is separated at the growth plate and sprained-- Thank you thank you very much- Mommy of the Year indeed....
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